I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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