She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
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