I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
"it" just moved
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
