yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Im part way to drunk.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
