Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
