porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
