PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
my being single is dangerous.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
