tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
