this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
