where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
