There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
