My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
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