Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize