remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
