Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
