i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
What drink are we having for lunch?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Couch. On fire.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
