Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
