She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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