Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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