honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
