Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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