That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
