At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
