put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
