Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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