fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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