I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
