What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
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