speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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