I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
