spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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