if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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