I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I got her a Nickelback box set.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
