He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
