roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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