Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I think my moral compass just broke
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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