so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
