"it" just moved
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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