Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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