dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
