my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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