You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
