can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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