remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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