don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Congratulations! We have a period
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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