it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
