Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
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we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
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After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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