My girlfriend figured out who you are.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
