Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
