Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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