Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
oh god was she eating orange peels again
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
