it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
