he shaved USA in his pubs
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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