the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
