Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
