Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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