If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
